Does A Doula Replace Your Partner in Birth? (Spoiler: They Don’t)
Doulas Support the Whole Family
One of the most common concerns families have is, “Will the doula take over?” The short answer: not at all. A doula doesn’t replace your partner—they enhance the support team and bring calm, confidence, and clarity to everyone in the room. As the birth partner, you know the birthing person best. I help with suggestions, and we all work together as a team. Maybe they want more physical support from you, I help you with different techniques for different stages of labor. Maybe they want lots of words of affirmation from you, and I provide more physical support. Often we take turns with different comfort measures. I check in with you as well, and assure you that it is ok to take a break or rest, while I make sure your laboring partner is fully supported!
Dads and partners can often feel overlooked or dismissed during the pregnancy and birth journey. I listen to what partners need, and make sure they are heard and validated too.
Common Myths About Doulas and Partners
“If We Have a Doula, I Won’t Be Needed.”
Doulas don’t replace partners—we emphasize your strengths, and help you to support your loved one best during each stage of labor.
Your emotional connection is irreplaceable; a doula brings tools and perspective, not competition.
“The Doula Will Take Over the Room.”
Doulas have the ability to easefully adapt to each family’s dynamic.
I know how to read the room- when to step in and when to step back. My work as a yoga teacher, as well as a midwife assistant, and years of experience with home birth, have enhanced my natural ability to hold space.
How Doulas and Partners Work Together
Creating a Team Dynamic
I help partners feel confident in providing physical and emotional support. It can feel overwhelming to see your beloved going through intense sensations. Many partners feel powerless and don’t know what to do. I help to alleviate that feeling by giving you suggestions in the moment, and reassuring you that you are supporting your partner beautifully.
I teach simple comfort techniques and tangible ways to help—so you’re never guessing what to do. These are skills we also practice at prenatal visits!
Making the Experience More Connected
A doula takes the pressure off of partners to do everything. I also help you to work through any emotions you are feeling. You deserve to be fully present for not only your partner, but also your own experience of your baby’s birth!
Whether it’s reminding you to eat, showing you how to offer counter pressure, or just offering reassurance, I make sure everyone is supported.
What Partners Say After Working With Me
“I felt like I had a role—and the tools to step into it. Jena showed me ways I could help before she got there, and also when we were all together at the hospital. Having her there to make suggestions and remind me of things we talked about was extremely helpful. I felt so much more at ease when she got there!”
“She was a reassuring presence the whole time, and showed me what to do. I’m so grateful Jena was there to support us through this experience, which before hiring her had felt very overwhelming.”
“We got to focus on the moment, and weren’t worried about what came next. Jena anticipated our needs, helped us communicate with providers, and was such an amazing guide”
My goal is to enhance your partnership. Partners walk away feeling more connected, not less.
Pro Tip:
💡 I can guide partners with real-time tips during labor—helping them feel more involved, informed about what is going on, less anxious, and better equipped to support.
Give Your Whole Family Support During Birth
A doula helps the whole birth team feel more supported and prepared. If you’re looking for someone who understands the emotional, physical, and relational dynamics of birth, I am here to help you feel morer confident and calm.
Reach out to schedule a free consultation and learn how doula care can strengthen—not replace, your important role as a birth partner!
About Jena Ashwill Holistic Birth Doula
Jena Ashwill is a Cleveland, Ohio based, holistic full spectrum birth doula, and prenatal yoga teacher. She works alongside birthing families to make labor a more connected and supported experience for everyone. Whether it’s your first baby or your third, Jena helps you prepare for this sacred transition through doula services and yoga tools, so you can birth your way confidently!